ODE TO A BONE SCAN by Les Stafford

ODE TO A BONE SCAN by Les Stafford


I went to have a bone scan

Drank water by the pitcher,

‘It is to help’ the nurse said

‘To get a better picture’

The scan was done and all went well

So homeward we did go,

But as we drove along the road

I said ‘I’ve got to go!’

It was raining cats and dogs

And nowhere there to park,

And so I found an oak tree

And went up to the bark.

Two days did pass and all was well

Until the Wednesday night,

I looked at the local paper

And it gave me quite a fright.

‘A miracle in Beeching Green’

The headline said with glee,

And there, green and fluorescent,

Was a picture of my tree.

It must have been the nuclear jab

I had before the scan,

I’m saying nowt to no one,

Keeping quite is the plan.

So if you have a bone scan

Drink up your tea and water

But then, you must be careful

Dont pee where you didn’t oughta!

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